The Hogwarts Diaries
by MagicalRachel
Summary: Diaries of the 5th year - what they thought and what really went on! Parody from the warped depths of my seventeen year old mind.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer - In case you haven't already guessed I'm not JK Rowling and therefore don't own any of the characters or places (or any other registered trade mark) mentioned in this fanfic. I just write. 

Harry

"The Boy who Lived". That's what they call me. That's why everyone knows who I am, the reason I have a string of really irritating first year admirers, the reason I have my own fan club. God I sound arrogant there. "Believing your own hype Potter!" as Malfoy would say. Now talking of arrogant bastards.... 

No. I've gone off subject now. Where was I? Oh yes. 'The Boy who Lived'. I hate that. I mean, it's nice sometimes, like when I'm feeling down, some unknown Gryffindor'll come and ask me for my autograph and that'll make me laugh - but generally... Please. Just a year, OK a day, when nothing remotely interesting, dangerous or involving me nearly getting killed happens. 

OK. Enough of the bitter ramblings of a fifteen year old, wanted dead by the 'Dark Lord', and kicked out of school by Snape. Although I have to say, I'm quite enjoying writing my angsty teenage "stream of consciousness" as Hermione so intellectually put it (nah, only joking - love you really Herm!). Actually I have Hermione to thank for all of this. She oh so nicely suggested to McGonagall that as a fifth year "bonding (as if we don't know each other by now!) task" that we should all write diaries/journals recording all our feelings about life for a whole bloody month!!!! I owe her one though (Hermione that is), 'cause this wasn't McGonagall's first choice of task. No..... if she'd had her way we'd all be writing and starring in our very own musical depicting the downfall of LV and celebrating life in general. As if I need or want any more attention. 

I've just read over what I've written and realised that I've just wasted the last fifteen minutes of my life writing a complete load of s**t (sorry, no swearing allowed), and gone completely off topic. Although you do now know that I hate being dubbed 'The Boy r here - hope you're sitting comfortably, it's gonna be a bumpy ride!) The name's Potter, Harry Potter (it's a parody of a muggle film - ask Hermione!), and I'm sure you already know about the extremely familiar fairy tale/tragedy story that is my life. Well. I'm going to tell you again anyway. Stroppy adolescent "Look at me, it's my life and I'm going to tell it my way" part of me cutting in now! Hmmm - kinda contradicting my camera shy side there! 

Anyway, in a nutshell... Lord Voldemort - big bad wizard, tries to rule world, kills my mum and dad, but for some bizarre reason can't kill me. Poor little me left as an orphan with distinctive lightning scar and sent to live with the Dursleys for ten years. Now that's a subject I could quite happily sound off on! Grrrr. I hate them, and that's putting it nicely. Then one day I get a letter telling me I'm a wizard, and a famous one at that and the whole story came out. Anyway, since then I've lived (reasonably) happily at Hogwarts - aside from the brief spells spent in the hospital wing due to LV's presence and the odd quidditch accident! 

Off topic again now - but first quidditch match of the season next week: against Ravenclaw. Cho's playing - hope I don't get too distracted (although I think I'm going off her at last - helped of course by her hostility and blame aimed at me because of LV killing Cedric! As if I wanted him to die.) cos Fred and George, our new captains, might go more than a bit mental if we lose! 

Now you might get the impression from reading this that I'm a right twat who doesn't care about the fact that his parents are dead and his life is constantly under threat. That's not true. It's just, I'm misunderstood, and try to hide my sensitive, incredibly paranoid, side In reality, I'm just a normal kid - and to be honest, I find it hard to mourn my parents when I don't actually remember them that much. If I do grieve, it's because I miss the parental presence. Hmmm... now I am feeling sad. But the LV thing..... yes it needs to be taken seriously, but if I spent every second of every day thinking about his latest scheme to knock me off I'd go insane! 

I'm gonna talk about something else now (sorry to disappoint you!). School: that might be a good place to start, seeing as it's the place in which I feel most at home! My favourite subjects are probably Care of Magical Creatures - cos it's outside, and Defence Against the Dark Arts (I wonder why!?). I can't stick Divination, so I won't talk about it, and Potions - well........ 

Oh f**k (damn censoring rules!)!! I'm gonna be late for potions. Now I really have reason to worry - Snape on the warpath! 

More later, 

Harry. 

Good? Bad? Worth me uploading Chapter 2 (It's gonna be Malfoy next BTW!)? 

Please review and let me know what you think! 

Rachel xxx :) 


	2. Draco

Disclaimer - I still don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters involved - I just own a Harry DVD, the computer game and 4 well thumbed books! 

Thank you for your lovely reviews so far, you keep me writing! 

Draco

Oh great. A chance to expose my slimy Slytherin soul to the world. Just what I need right now. Can you people not see that I'm trying to sort my life out here? Ha! That'll surprise you. Draco Malfoy actually thinking about his future in a questioning way. You (yes you, you foul little mudblood sniggering as you read this) thought I'd got it made didn't you?! Well? You thought I'd sit here and get a good little education before sauntering back to the Malfoy manor and joining my dad on the dark side. 

Well. I'm not. 

At least I think I'm not. You see, I've been doing some thinking (wipe that smirk off your face Weasley/Potter/Granger), and I've figured out that if dad's mate Voldy can't even kill a skinny, stupid, scar faced 15 year old (or 11 year old, or, oh heck why not, a baby for God's sake) then how the f**k is he gonna do this whole world domination thing my dad's so intent on? So... and here's the big revelation... I'm going to tell my father where to stick his Voldy ideas and work for Dumbledore. But! And this is a very big 'but'. Only until I get powerful enough to take over the world myself - only without the killing because I don' really like the sight of blood (and dead bodies/people freak me out. 

I hate this exercise, spilling my soul to the world - and writing the truth. But these journals have all had honesty charms placed on them so we can't lie (Cheers Flitwick - last time I pay any attention in Charms). Otherwise do you really think I'd write this s**t? I can just hear my reputation blowing away with the wind. 

God I'm f**cked up! Oh well, my life's not all bad - I still have my brains, and I'm still the most beautiful thing Hogwarts has ever seen. Arrgghhh!!! There I go again. Damn my father for making me so bloody arrogant and obnoxious (although I did inherit his looks). Damn, damn, damn. Life would be so much simpler if I was in a different house, even though I would have been long dead at the hands of my father by now, then I wouldn't have evil expectations to live up to...... and I can't disappoint the masses - so...... evil I am. All because I'm a Malfoy in Slytherin house. I blame the parents. For everything. Ever. 

Now if you'll excuse me I think I'll just go curl up and die somewhere. Or...... I could go and find me the famous Potter and his mudblood and mudblood loving friends. They always rise to the bait - it's such fun! I'll just mention pretty boy Diggory and watch the sparks fly....... 

Draco 

Sorry this a short chapter, Malfoy is hard to write! Hermione's next, sharing her insights on the world of Hogwarts. 

Please keep reviewing! 

Rachel xxx 

:) 


	3. Hermione

Disclaimer - Due to the fact that I don't possess large amounts of polyjuice potion I am not JK Rowling. Therefore - I don't actually own any of the characters I am writing about (especially as I'm not a big fan of writing Mary-Sues), or any of the other things in the world of Hogwarts! I have just corrupted the characters into thinking like they do! OK?! 

Hermione

Well. I'll start by saying that I for one think that journal writing for a month is a very good idea. Better than doing a musical at any rate. 

Now. On to the whole recording the thoughts and feelings part - oh wait, I haven't introduced myself. How horribly rude of me. Perhaps if I do it now no one will notice..... I'm Hermione Granger, I come from an - as far as I'm aware - all muggle family, and my best friends are Harry Potter (yes the Harry Potter - hang on, you already know that - being at Hogwarts yourself) and Ron Weasley. Oh, and I've just turned 16 and been made a prefect! It's so exciting! Unfortunately neither of the boys got in, but I don't think they mind too much! 

OK, formalities dealt with - now here we go. My thoughts for the day..... 

Friends. You can't live with them and you can't live without them. Take my two best friends for example: 

Harry - lovely, sweet, clever (don't even bother trying to deny it Harry) - but my God..... seriously messed up in the head, especially concerning thoughts of the TriWizard Tournament last year and "You Know Who". I know it's not his fault, he's been through a lot, and having so much to deal with at 15 should probably make him a lot more messed up than he is.... but he blames himself for Cedric's death and everything else that happens to do with "You Know Who", and he lets Malfoy get to him with his bitchy comments (I swear he's more bitchy than the entire female population of Hogwarts put together!) - which just makes everything worse. Arrgghh! Sometimes I just want to slap Harry for being such an idiot and believing Malfoy's crap. Then at other times...... well, let's just say that this probably isn't the best place to be discussing it! Moving swiftly on.......... 

Ron - fiery hair, fiery temper - what more do you need to know? Only joking! Ron's one of those people who you never really know how to act around because his emotions run high and he can overreact to the smallest thing. He's the youngest boy in a huge family, and so often feels undervalued - although he's certainly not underloved. I know he feels that it doesn't matter what he does in his (school) life because whatever he does it's bound to have been done before by one of his siblings, but it does matter. It's the same with his relationship with Harry sometimes - he feels like he's always in the shadows. Ron's also incredibly sensitive when it comes to the issue of wealth - in that he's sad because he's from a relatively poor family, and what makes it worse is that Harry's rich from inheritance. But I know that Harry would gladly give every last knut in Gringotts to Ron and his family if he could - because he loves them like he would his own family. But Ron's too proud to ever accept money from Harry, and so just moans and complains - a lot. 

Boys. My life would be a lot easier if I had girls for best friends, but I wouldn't trade Harry and Ron for anything! 

My mini rant finished, I'll talk about my day. I had Potions this morning, which usually isn't so bad (even though it's Snape) because it's very interesting. But Snape was in a particularly vindictive mood today: and gave Neville a detention for daring to be even the slightest bit magical; Harry a detention for breathing; Ron a detention for giving him cheek because of Harry and Neville's detentions; Seamus a detention for blowing something up (it's not so bad, he's used to not having eyebrows!); and me a detention for attempting to help Neville with his potion. In fact - Snape gave very single Gryffindor detention. But not one single Slytherin! The injustice of it! Oh well, no point in complaining - it doesn't usually achieve much. It just means that another Wednesday will go by with no 5th year Gryffindors in the common room. For goodness sake, I'm a prefect - my house needs me there. What use am I to them locked up in a dungeon with Snape and the rest of my year cleaning stuff off the floor, or doing something for Filch. Grrrr..... when I'm head girl I'll show them! 

I have to go now because I have a very, very long Transfiguration essay to finish for Professor McGonagall's class tomorrow, and I need to finish it in plenty of time because Harry has had Quidditch practice tonight and Ron's just been off somewhere being Ron...... and I'm sure that they'll both want me to 'assist' them with theirs! 

Eww..... Crookshanks has just dumped a dead rat on the floor next to where I'm working! It's just as well Hedwig's not here or we could have an owl versus pussycat fight for food! 

More later, when I have something else to talk about! 

Love Hermione xx 

Thank you for all of your lovely reviews! Ron will probably be up next - send any suggestions concerning his state of mind in with reviews! 

Rachel xxx 

:) 


	4. Ron

Disclaimer - I'm still just a student, and I'm still just 17, so I'm not JK Rowling. The only magic I can do is put pen to paper (and even that is faulty!), so don't sue me for nicking - sorry borrowing - characters, just read and review! 

Ron

I hate being poor. OK, I know it's such a cliché of mine and anyone who knows me will have heard me say it at least 3 million times in the last 4 years.... but it's true. It's not that I particularly want to be rich as, like Harry says, it doesn't necessarily make you happy. But to have enough money to not have to worry about stuff during the year. Take last week for example: it was Hermione's 16th and, with her being one of my best mates and everything, I wanted to get her something really nice - not an easy thing to do when you have no money. So I ended up just buying her a book - which isn't the most exciting thing to receive on your 16th. Then again, this is Hermione we're talking about, and being Hermione she loved it! I just wish she loved me - but everyone knows she has her heart set on Harry......... 

Arrgghhhh!!!!! There's a big, huge, gigantic hairy spider on the floor, and I don't know why the hell I haven't stopped writing by now but I can't seem to put my quill down...... I HATE spiders. Forget You Know, spiders are the most terrifying thing and greatest evil on this earth! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! They make having a pet troll suddenly seem appealing! OH MY GOD! It's coming closer. I can't write anymore (and my quill's still stuck in hand). I'm dying, it's crawling on my cloak. I'm gonna die, no, I'm gonna get Harry to save me. It's still approaching me. It's the end. Goodbye, I shall miss you. 

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Hi, um, it's Harry. I know that this is Ron's diary and I probably shouldn't be reading it or writing in it.... but I thought you ought to know that due to the trauma he suffered at the hands (sorry legs) of the *cough* money spider *snigger*, he's indisposed. Actually, Hermione's just informed me that he's currently in the hospital wing - having fallen down the stairs in his hurry and panic, and hit his head!!!! 

Oh well, I'm sure he'll be back soon! I just hope I will still be around when he finds out that I've been writing in this! Harry and Hermione! 

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Oh my God! It's me again, and there's no spider this time but I can't believe Harry and 'Mione have been reading this...... What if they saw? No, they wouldn't....... would they? I mean, I don't think they would read it - but you never know..... What am I saying?! Get a grip Weasley, they're your best bloody friends, they're not gonna read your private stuff - especially when it's on a different page! Or would they?!? F**k I'm screwed! If Hermione ever found out........ or worse - if Harry ever found out............. 

I've just had a rather disturbing thought..... these journal/diaries/whatever you want to call them are gonna be shared amongst my entire year! 

Damn! I just tried to erase the ink with a vanishing spell - but it's refusing to budge!!! Help! What am I going to do? OK, calm down..... I just won't write anything more about my feelings for Hermione (Oops, I did it again! Now why does that sound familiar?). In fact, I just won't write anything at all. 

This is goodbye. At least until my paranoia has worn off and I can think of another subject to discuss here. 

Ron 

Sorry once again for a short chapter - Ron's next one will be longer and more interesting! He he! Also sorry about the spider thing..... I, um, had a mad moment at lunch time today! 

Please keep reviewing - I'm doing exams at the moment and reviews cheer me right up! 

Rachel xxx 


	5. Harry Again

Disclaimer - Assuming, of course, that you are not some crazy being who starts reading from the middle of a story, I shouldn't really have to come up with a bizarre and hopefully mildly funny disclaimer at this stage in the game. But, knowing my luck I have mad readers to complement my strange writing, so here goes: 

I'm not associated in any way shape or form with JK Rowling, the phenomenon that is Harry Potter or any of the publishing peeps. I'm just a fan who has nothing better to do while waiting for Book 5 to come out. OK?! 

Harry

Oh my god. I just found out (although I'm sure that the rest of the school already knows) that Ron fancies Hermione. I am in shock. I guess it's obvious really as he's always teasing her and they say that you tease the ones you love but.... still. Eew! Bad mental image there - Malfoy's always teasing (taunting, piss taking and being generally evil and irritating are probably more accurate descriptions) us. What if............ NO, I DON'T EVEN WANT TO THINK ABOUT THE COMPLETELY INSANE AND DISTURBING POSSIBILITIES!!!! *shudder* 

Change subject. Kinda. Ron and Hermione though, that's interesting. Or something like that. It feels weird though - why? They're both my best friends, it'd make them happy, and as I don't fancy Hermione myself it could be nice for them. Hang on! I don't fancy Hermione, do I? I don't think I do. Do I? But seriously, do I? I don't know. But I do though - know, that is. And I think I've known for a while. Damn. I'm screwed - I fancy my best girl mate. F**k. This isn't supposed to happen. What about Cho? I mean, I still fancy her..... right? 

Oh god. A few major realisations just emerging from my screwed up head. I'm over Cho. She never really liked me anyway. I mean, we tried it for a bit in September, but her heart wasn't really in it - what with Diggory's death in the summer and everything. She loved him. I could tell. I was just a convenient rebound (not sure if I mean rebound but it'll do) guy: nothing serious. It was never gonna be serious. There was that one night in the forest, but that was it. Since then - nothing, nada, zero. So we broke it off. But now............ a bizarre love triangle appears to be emerging in the Gryffindor common room. Or is it? I don't think that Hermione actually likes Ron in that way, but I'm not sure. 

Why can't things go back to normal? You know, my usual life threatening encounters with Voldemort, followed by Hermione acing every subject, and the rest of us just scraping through. I want the Quidditch season to begin properly again, Sirius to come back and visit, and heck, I'd even welcome a sighting of the Dursley's right now - purely to provide me with some 'normality'. Not that my life is ever what you would call normal, but...... arrgghh! I really shouldn't think so much! I scare myself. Damn. I fancy Hermione, Lord Voldemort has returned and Ron's gonna kill me. I might as well save them the job and do it myself: I'm that screwed. 

More later when I am feeling far less screwed over. A talk with Fred and George might be in order - they're the experts in methods of distraction. 

Harry 

A/N.........I am soooooooo sorry that it has taken me absolutely ages to update - I've been super busy with exams and the like, plus I've been writing a LotR actor fic. I'll try a longer chapter next, and will hopefully update a bit quicker too! Does anyone have any suggestions for the Ron/Harry/Hermione love triangle (oops! I shouldn't have written them in that order - it looks like a slash thingy!), or any other developments? Keep the reviews coming - I love em! 

Rachel xx 


	6. Hermione's back - and she's not happy......

Disclaimer - I still don't own any of this stuff. If you hadn't figured that by chapter 6 then I'm afraid you're probably beyond all hope! 

Cheers for all the new reviews - this is a bit of an experimental chapter due to the response I've received! Any comments - you know what to do..... Oh yeah - someone mentioned the swearing, what can I say - they're British, they're 15/16 year olds, and it's all edited/sensored and quite tongue in cheek. Besides, they were saying 'bloody' in the film and they were only supposed to be 11 then! However, if it is a problem then I will check my rating and adjust as I feel appropriate. 

Hermione

So....... It's been a very eventful week. If I'd known that being 16 was this complicated, I might have chosen to ignore my birthday - or something like that! Confused? I am too. But I have a problem, actually two problems, in the shape of my 'best friends'. I've liked Harry in, you know, 'that' way for ages, I don't think he knows and I don't think he likes me back, but that's the way it is. We'd go so well together........ Anyway, I wasn't happy with his lack of response (and his affection for Cho for that matter), but I was happy in my feelings for him. Everything was simple. Now.... I still really, really like Harry, but I think I might also feel something for Ron as well. It's since Harry and I accidentally on purpose read his diary the other day. I found out that he likes me - and since it's not really working out with Harry, I was wondering, should I go down the Ron route? I've always liked him, maybe not in 'that' way, but still. Would it be using him if I squandered my feelings for Harry and pursued Ron? I don't know. I like them both so it's not really wrong and, as I don't see myself as a threesome kind of girl (actually that would be kind of interesting!), I guess I've got some thinking to do. 

It's been fifteen minutes since I wrote the above paragraph, and I still haven't reached a sensible conclusion. Several completely idiotic, immature and unfeasible ones, yes - but nothing sensible or practical. Just because you didn't ask, here are some of the bizarre solutions I came up with: Magically cloning myself and going out with them both. Rejected because too messy and complicated. Quitting Hogwarts and joining the Beauxbaton's nunnery, *cough*, academy. Rejected because - well, just because! Going out with Seamus, Dean or Neville - they're lovely guys but, between them, they're enough to put a girl off men for life! All of these hormones and confusion appear to be affecting my schoolwork as well as my sanity. I wrote an essay today for History of Magic, and I was barely able to string together coherent sentences, let alone discuss 'rebellions of the magical community through the ages' in depth, using analysis skills and deep understanding. I don't even understand myself, so how I'm supposed to understand the motives of hags 500 years ago I don't know. 

I'm just so frenzied, frantic, and completely not making sense right now. Can you tell that I'm an extremely confused 16 year old? Is that coming across in my diary entry today? No, I didn't think so either. Heck, now I'm becoming sarcastic - I'm definitely not feeling normal. Sarcasm is usually reserved for certain irritating members of the male population who seem to be featuring rather a lot in this (oh and Malfoy, but he's not worth the time or the space, so I say no more on the subject.). What is happening to me? Other people have hormones and crushes and strange thoughts involving threesomes: not me. I'm Hermione Granger, star pupil, complete rationalist (if you forget a few irrational moments such as the Lockhart crush), and irregular teenager. I just don't do confusion concerning which of my best friends I fancy more. 

Right. I have decided to choose rationally - by making a list. I don't really want to have to choose between them, but that's the way it is. I will list the pros and the cons for each boy. *Takes a deep breath* Here goes: 

Pros - Harry

Sweet; clever; cute; passionate; strong (determined) 

Cons - Harry

You Know Who is always trying to kill him; he is a complete idiot sometimes; he actually pays attention to Malfoy; stubborn as hell. 

This is too hard. Never mind - I've started so I'll finish: 

Pros - Ron

Fiery; funny; caring 

Cons - Ron

Bad tempered; jealous; possessive 

Ohhhh..... I just can't do this. A stupid crush (or two) is taking over my life. I have a major Potions essay due in tomorrow and all I've written is the title. This is just not like me: I set deadlines, I stick to them, I avoid detention, I become everyone's favourite student. Except Snape's, that is, and for that point.... the essay doesn't really matter anyway (!). I mean, I'll probably still end up in detention. I cannot believe I just said that.. 

I can't do this to Ron. I like Harry too much. It wouldn't be fair. Oh god, I'm reduced to five word sentences again. You know what? I don't need a boyfriend. I have an education. I rest my case. 

Who am I trying to kid? 

I really have to stop telling the world my feelings for my two best friends! More when I have recovered my sense of being and rationality and finished my Potions work. What I said before about it still stands, but I'll sleep easier if I know it's finished. 

Love, an extremely confused and currently incredibly irate, Hermione xx 

So....... what does anybody think? A little weird I know, but I wanted Hermione to completely lose that cool front she shows and act like a regular teenager - you know, confused and extremely all over the place. I hope she comes across as that! Anyway. Please click on that little purple button on the side of the screen. You know you want to, and it would make me very, very happy! Besides, if you don't, I'll set Hagrid and one of his nasty magical creatures on you! 

Rachel xx 


	7. Seamus has his say!

Disclaimer - I'm still not JK Rowling and I still don't own any of this. If pushed, I will admit to warping the character's imaginations, but only if pushed! Just so you know - if you are looking for JK Rowling try a site that doesn't have FanFiction in its addie! Just a small hint! 

Anyway, I'm sure you already know this, but you people are wonderful! 

Seamus

I have to say, I'm very surprised to find myself actually taking part in this task! I'm not the diary/journal writing type see - something to do with having to write........ I much prefer practical magic! On second thoughts, maybe for the sake of my personal safety, diary writing could be something interesting! 

Anyway, that's not the reason I wrote (the real reason consists of getting McGonagall off my back). There's been an interesting rumour going around the Gryffindor common room recently - something to do with a strange love triangle between Harry, Hermione and Ron. Now, it's common knowledge that Hermione fancies Harry and has done forever, but it's also common knowledge that Harry fancies Cho Chang, and where the heck does Ron come into this? Dean said something about (and he had it on good authority from a combination of sources - Fred and George Weasley, Peeves the poltergeist and Dobby the house elf) Harry fancying Hermione, Ron fancying Hermione, and Hermione fancying Harry and Ron. There was also a rumour about Ron fancying Harry as well, but we're all pretty sure that that's just Malfoy making trouble. Now, I would ask Hermione herself about these rumours, as she's usually a fairly approachable kind of girl, but she's been skating around me, Dean and Neville with a rather guilty look on her face - as if she's done or said something bad towards us. I wonder what it was.... she's probably confessed to Snape her knowledge concerning our involvement in the newt's eyes incident in Potions last week! Oh well, we would have had a detention anyway: it's Snape, he hates us! On second thoughts, Hermione may be crazy but she's no snitch. 

More later - Dean just informed me that it's time for charms..... and my eyebrows had been growing back so nicely recently! 

Seamus! 

A/N - Sorry for the short chapter! I wanted to get an 'outsider's' perspective on the goings on, and I just happen to like Seamus. The next chapter will be better! I haven't had much time to write today cos I went to see Spiderman with my sister! If you haven't seen it yet - go now!!! 

Thanks once more for your fantastic feedback - in case you hadn't noticed, I always update quicker when I've had good reviews! 

My threat from the end of chapter 6 still stands, so press the little purple button NOW! 

Rachel xx 


	8. Ron's moment of madness!

Disclaimer - My name is Rachel. It begins with R: therefore I am not JK Rowling. Happy? Good, then don't sue! 

I apologise in advance for the shortness (is that even a word?) of this chapter. I deemed the length to be appropriate to the content! 

Ron

Hermione asked me out today. 

Hermione. Asked. Me. Out. 

I have absolutely no idea why. 

I thought she fancied Harry. 

Not me. 

Nobody fancies me. 

Not even Parvati Patil, and she went to the Yule Ball with me. 

I said yes. 

I'm a complete idiot. 

She only did it to make Harry jealous. 

She must have done. 

Why me? 

She probably thought I wouldn't mind. 

Is she the only person this side of Antarctica who doesn't know I really, really fancy her. 

This is a sick joke. 

I hate you all. 

Goodbye. 

A/N - Ron will be back in chapter 9 when he's seen sense. He's in shock right now and having trouble with long sentences. I'm sure reviews (especially nice ones) will cure him. 


	9. Ron and Hermione sittin' in a tree - K I...

Disclaimer - What I said in the last 8 chapters still stands. If you have a complaint about this please stick it in with your fab reviews that you will feel compelled to write in a few minutes! 

Oh, and for all the Ron/Hermione shippers - this one's for you! 

Ron

Scrap what I said yesterday! She loves me!!!!! I'm so happy, I might even go be nice to Malfoy! After my warped diary entry yesterday, I confronted Hermione about her real feelings for me. She said that she really, really, really likes me and has done for a while now, and that she's been doing a lot of thinking recently and would like to give it a go with me. And then she kissed me. Hermione, the girl I've been obsessing over since the Yule Ball (or maybe before then, but that's really when I realised it) kissed me: Ron Weasley. She didn't go for Harry, she went for me. 

And that's what worries me. Why me? Everyone knows she's had a thing for Harry since she started at Hogwarts. Why, all of a sudden has she changed her mind and moved on to me? When she kissed me, I loved it, but part of me was looking out of the corner of my eye and observing the fact that the whole of the common room occupants could see us. Harry wasn't there, he was at quidditch practice, but word soon gets around. The news of Harry and Cho a few months ago certainly didn't waste its time. However, this nagging feeling is probably just my overactive and probably really bored imagination playing tricks on me and going all paranoid again. Harry is no threat to Hermione and me unless we let him be. 

Oh, I'm so happy! Even Potions was fun this morning. Snape's vindictiveness that usually mortifies me left me creased up with incessant laughter (see, being in love must be good for me - my vocabulary's improving), and not even Seamus's bad jokes could annoy me. Heck, even Divination was a laugh! We had the old planet charts out again today - to use them as revision for the O.W.Ls (I'm not even panicking when I mention the dreaded things today), and Harry and I were just mucking around. What a laugh. Life is good. It'll be just my luck if good old (or not) You Know Who decides to make his grand reappearance now! 

OK, gonna go now - off to find Hermione, my new girlfriend in case you're really stupid and hadn't already figured that out, to see if I can get a repeat performance or two of yesterdays kiss! And they say boys have one track minds! They were right of course! 

More when I can be bothered! 

The extremely happy Ron Weasley. 

Oh look, there's a huge spider! I'll just go and let it outside, because I wouldn't want to hurt the poor thing........ 

A/N - Awwwww........ Ron's in love. How sweet! But does Hermione feel the same way? How does she really feel about Harry? Has she made the biggest mistake of her life, or is Ron the best thing that's ever happened to her? What does Harry think about all of this? The more you review, the more I write! Think about it - it's not difficult........ 

Rachel xx 


	10. Neville's Hermione theories revealed!

Disclaimer - I still am not JK Rowling or anyone who might own even the tiniest part of the world of Harry Potter. I just write the fanfiction. Don't sue me.... please! 

Chapter 10 - Neville

Well that's something I didn't see coming! I might not be the sharpest person in Gryffindor, but I know roughly what's going on...... most of the time! Hermione kissed Ron today. We are all still in shock. Ron's over the moon, of course, but the rest of us are still recovering from the moment. Hermione has loved Harry since... well, forever. Yet she kissed Ron. Harry looks mortified. He hasn't spoken to anyone since he found out. He just sat there, in a chair by the common room fire, polishing his Firebolt absent mindedly, a horrified expression on his face. He didn't even avoid the Creevey brothers when they approached him. Something's definitely up with him. 

I just spoke to Hermione about Ron, and she seemed....... fake, somehow. Usually, she's such a genuine person, and always speaks her mind, but today it seemed as though she was glossing over the subject and avoiding the real issue. You know what I think? I think she's going out with Ron to make Harry jealous. 

How can I have said that? Hermione would never do that to one of her best friends. If she wanted to make Harry jealous, she'd go out with someone she barely knew - like someone on one of the quidditch teams or something. Not Ron. 

Wouldn't she? 

Enough about Hermione and Ron and Harry for the moment. I have more pressing issues. My grandmother sent me a letter this morning by owl post, saying that my mum and dad have been asking for me. I don't want to go. At least, I don't want to go now. Maybe at Christmas or something, but they're asking for me now. They have no real concept of time, or something like that, the doctor said to me - but I don't want to miss school. can't just disappear in the middle of term. That would mean missing lessons, which I can't really afford to do, and also it means I have to explain where I'm going. Which means telling people. I don't want to. Not now. It's too upsetting. 

I have to go now. My grandmother will want a reply soon. I have to go to dinner. I have a potions essay to finish. 

Neville. 

A/N - Just another short, minor character, chapter I know, but I have been spending more time on my other fanfics recently. At the end, Neville is really upset, which is why he talks in short, almost emotionless sentences. 

Will update soon! 

Rachel xx 

ps. Loving the reviews - keep them coming. I have learnt some new spells and I'm not afraid to use them! 


	11. Guess who's back!

Disclaimer -  JK Rowling is the highest earning woman in the country. I'm not. Does that tell you something about the ownership of these characters? Good. Don't sue. 

A/N - So, uh, yeah.... it's been a LONG time.... *ducks cruciatus curse*.... I'm sorry! I hope I have some readership left! If not, I hope you like this anyway! 

Chapter 11 - Guess who's back.... (aka Draco)

Soooo...... the Mudblood's with the Weasel! Ha! From what I've heard, Potter's not happy - turns out he wanted some action! The tension is mounting between the three, which leads to...... MY BRILLIANT PLAN! 

Potter loves Granger, Weasley loves Granger, Granger loves Weasley. Something's got to give. Or at least it would, if this was that simple. According to that idiot, Longbottom, Granger is only with Ron to screw Potter up. I, yes I - the brilliant, ingenious (and above all incredibly evil in my own little way) Draco Malfoy, am going to help Potter get his way. Yes - you did hear that correctly. 

I am going to offer Potter the chance to win his girl (through a few little things I have stashed away for blackmail purposes), IF.... and only if.... he joins with me on the 'not so dark side', which we all know he will! Ha! Together we will kick Voldy and all his death eater buddies, including my disillusioned father, to the other side of this little universe! 

Speaking of Voldy, the pathetic excuse for an evil wizard, I have heard through my incredibly reliable yet stupid sources that he plans to attack Hogwarts within the next two weeks. This is the best news ever! Now all I have to do is inform Dumbledore, win his trust, stop the stupid Dark Lord, and then..... take over the world - with Potter and his mudblood friends as my minions! The plan cannot fail! 

Except for one teensy tiny thing: my father. If he gets wind of this, there won't be any 'me' left to take over the world. I think he suspects something's not 'right' about me already. He's always talking with Crabbe and Goyle seniors, asking what I'm getting up to, how many mudbloods I've offended, how many idiots I've cursed, and how many evil plans I've hatched - you know, the usual. He's also been in close talks with Snape, but that just might be to do with Snape's spy work against the death eaters. Anyway, the point is that he's... well, I don't really know how to articulate this, but..... he's measuring my evilness. I think he wants to take me out of school as soon as he can to join with his imbecile friends. If he gets even the slightest inkling of me not wanting to, he will probably kill me. Or at least stop my pocket money. Damn! 

Other than that, life is surprisingly good at the moment. Word has not got out about me renouncing the Death Eaters, so the evil reputation has not been tarnished, I am the only student to have obtained 100% in my potion's homework this year, and I've only had two detentions this week. But, I ask you, how was I supposed to know that Longbottom would have an adverse reaction to the flesh eating slug repellent I slipped in his pumpkin juice? 

Yeah, so I have to go now.... McGonagall's making me weed Hagrid's vegetable patch to get rid of the cabbages that didn't make it thanks to me! The injustice! That's servant work! She'd better just wait until my father finds out..... 

On second thoughts - maybe not. 

Draco. 

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A/N - Once again, I am incredibly sorry for not having updated for this long. The next one will come sooner... not that that's a difficult thing to achieve..... 

Please review! Please? 

Rachel x 


	12. Blowing up a classroom is never a good i...

Disclaimer - Nada. 

A/N - Said it wouldn't take long.... 

Chapter 12 - Oops... he did it again! Seamus, that is!

Oh dear. I am in deep, deep trouble now. 

I blew up a potions room. 

Don't ask me how - one minute I was standing there, next minute I feel the old eyebrows going, and look to see Hermione shouting, "Get your little Irish ass out of here before Snape sees..." 

Too late. 

"Aahhhh.... Mr Finnigan," he says in that veeeerrrryyyy dangerous voice of his. I would have been scared, had it not been for the fact that his hair looked like he'd stuck his fingers in one of them electric socket thingies me pa's always on about. Was great craic. Shame it made me laugh - Snape did not look amused.... 

"Yes Mr Snape Sir..." I said, trying very hard to keep a straight face 

"You appear to have..." and this is where he got MAD! "Destroyed my potions room, you imbecile! I will have you expelled for this. You will be out of this school faster than you can say leprechauns!" 

Oh dear. 

Just as well Dumbledore agreed that it had been an accident! I don't think me mam would be too amused to have me packed back off to the Emerald Isle in disgrace! Me pa'd be proud though - blowing up a classroom! 

Yes. 

In other news, I think I'm finally getting the hang of charms class - before today I'd had a full head of hair for two whole weeks! I also think, that after four and a bit long years of trying, I have mastered the art of turning water into alcohol! Hurrah! That'll come in handy for the post match party after Gryffindor play Hufflepuff next week! 

Eye of rabbit....... 

I'll stop there, I think - it only works properly when there's actually water there! 

Gotta go now..... it's the fifth year Gryffindor's weekly detention with Snape. Uh oh. He's gonna be very mean today, I can feel it.... 

Seamus. 

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A/N - Yes it's short..... I know! Please review - I'll be more motivated to write! 

I think next chapter we'll be visiting Hermione.... or maybe Harry.... 

Thanks! 

Rachel x 


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